I want to crawl back to bed.
I’m often tired
When it happens I am bone tired. So tired I could fall asleep writing this.
My husband is always commenting that I am so tired “all the time” with a huff.
He says “you get more sleep than the rest of us and yet you are tired” with another huff.
Well if I just sit and think about it now – yes I am in bed for at least 8 hours but I do not sleep WELL.
I wake up worrying if I have written up notes properly. My worry about an email I read to be rude. I worry about that email and wonder what I had done to upset that person so much. Upsetting other people is just not me. I would rather eat hair than upset anyone. Then there is the worrying about children, exams and boyfriends are top of the list at the moment. The early hours is also a great time to worry about how I am going to get to a venue that I have not been to before, what I am going to wear and if anyone will speak to me!
So looking at it, actually its no wonder I am not sleeping well and tired “all the time”.
So what’s the answer?
There is a lot of information out there on what to do and here are the top 6 tips to help with anxiety- some are more helpful than others:
6 Tips to Help with Anxiety are as follows:
Tip 1: Create a daily “worry” period
This is where the strategy of postponing worrying can help. Give yourself permission to have the anxious thought, but put off dwelling on it until later.
Tip 2: Challenge anxious thoughts
If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worry, you may look at the world in ways that make it seem more threatening than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly. It is easy to jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every anxious thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems. This is SO me!
Tip 3: Distinguish between solvable and unsolvable worries
Research shows that while you’re worrying, you temporarily feel less anxious. Running over the problem in your head distracts you from your emotions and makes you feel like you’re getting something accomplished. But worrying and problem solving are two very different things.
Problem solving involves evaluating a situation, coming up with concrete steps for dealing with it, and then putting the plan into action. Worrying, on the other hand, rarely leads to solutions. No matter how much time you spend dwelling on worst-case scenarios, you’re no more prepared to deal with them should they actually happen.
Tip 4: Interrupt the worry cycle
If you worry excessively, it can seem like negative thoughts are running through your head on endless repeat. You may feel like you’re spiraling out of control, going crazy, or about to burn out under the weight of all this anxiety. But there are steps you can take right now to interrupt all those anxious thoughts and give yourself a time out from relentless worrying.
Get up and get moving. Exercise is a natural and effective anti-anxiety treatment because it releases endorphins which relieve tension and stress, boost energy, and enhance your sense of well-being. Even more importantly, by really focusing on how your body feels as you move, you can interrupt the constant flow of worries running through your head.
Take a yoga or tai chi class. By focusing your mind on your movements and breathing, practicing yoga or tai chi keeps your attention on the present, helping to clear your mind and lead to a relaxed state.
Meditate. Meditation works by switching your focus from worry about the future or dwelling on the past to what’s happening right now. By being fully engaged in the present moment, you can interrupt the endless loop of negative thoughts and worries.
Practice progressive muscle relaxation. This can help you break the endless loop of worrying by focusing your mind on your body, instead of your thoughts. By alternately tensing and then releasing different muscle groups in your body, you release muscle tension in your body. And as your body relaxes, your mind will follow.
Try deep breathing. When you worry, you become anxious and breathe faster, often leading to further anxiety. But by practicing deep breathing exercises, you can calm your mind and quiet negative thoughts.
Tip 5: Talk about your worries
It may seem like a simplistic solution, but talk face to face with a trusted friend or family member, someone who will listen to you without judging, criticizing, or continually being distracted. This is one of the most effective ways to calm your nervous system and diffuse anxiety. When your worries start spiralling, talking them over can make them seem far less threatening.
Keeping worries to yourself only causes them to build up until they seem overwhelming. Saying them out loud can often help you to make sense of what you’re feeling and put things in perspective. If your fears are unwarranted, verbalizing them can expose them for what they are—needless worries. If your fears are justified, sharing them with someone else can produce solutions that you may not have thought of alone.
Tip 6: Practice mindfulness
Worrying is often focused on the future—on what might happen and what you’ll do about it. It can be focussed on the past, rehashing the things you’ve said or done. The centuries-old practice of mindfulness can help you break free of your worries. By bringing your attention back to the present each time your mind wanders. This strategy is based on observing your worries and then letting them go. It can help you identify where your thinking is causing problems and getting in touch with your emotions.
So which of the 6 Tips to stop anxiety actually work?
Which of the 6 tips to stop anxiety really work I hear you ask? I have tried them all as well as the hot bath and warm milk before bed!
They have all helped in a way but the one that I found most helpful was talking about my worries. Allowing someone else to help me work out my own solutions has been very helpful. I also realised how feeling overwhelmed stops me from doing things I need to do at times.
I needed someone to hold a mirror to me so I can see the worries and the overwhelm. Seeing them allows me to deal with them and not put a sticking plaster over them. Sorry to my yogi friends and colleagues, but a yoga class is not helpful to me.
I found coaching enlightening and gave me skills for life in managing my anxieties both work and at home. Now I cannot say that I am “cured” of anxiety and I only see rainbows and daisies. I am much better at catching my pesky brain when it wants me to worry. Through coaching I have some great tools to help me sort the worries out. The best thing is these tools work for me and are just for me.
Not sleeping is one of the best things that happens to me . It is my alarm to remind me to use these tools when I have let life get in the way.
What are your worries and how do you know when you are out of balance?
Where (and what) is your alarm to tell you that you are not coping or looking after yourself ?
Which of the 6 tips to help with anxiety have you tried? Has one of the 6 tips to help with anxiety resonated with you?
I would love to help you find your alarms and ways that work for you and your anxiety.
Come and contact me at The Professionals Coach and we can get this sorted pronto!