What is one of the most common emotions that humans have? Which emotion is one of the most useful to keep us from making mistakes time and time again? Well its an emotion we do not really think or talk about and that is regret.

Regret

I was listening to Rangan Chatterjee’s excellent podcast ( Podcast Archives – Dr Rangan Chatterjee (drchatterjee.com) with Daniel Pink. Daniel is a bestselling author and researcher specialising in human behaviour, creativity, work and business. In his latest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backwards Moves Us Forwards, Dan asserts that regret is misunderstood. However, it is a useful emotion that when used correctly, can help us lead happier, more fulfilled lives.

The key, he says, is to recognise it as a signal, telling us what we should do next. Dan has identified four core categories of regret through his extensive research. He found that no matter what the context, be it romance, career, travel or family, people’s feelings fell into one of these four camps: Boldness Regrets (‘if only I’d taken the chance’); Foundation Regrets (‘if only I’d done the work’); Moral Regrets (‘if only I’d done the right thing’) and Connection Regrets (‘if only I’d reached out’).

I was fascinated to hear about boldness regrets. Boldness regrets do increase as we get older but can be pivotal in moving us towards what we want in life. Dan’s thoughts on this were that when we get to middle age we have had experience of times when we have not taken the chance BUT there is still a lot of life left to take chances should they present themselves.

How can regret help us?

Do you want to sit in a chair when you are 80 and regret taking the chance to change jobs, ask that special person out or go travelling? If the answer is “no” then how can you stop this from happening? The first step is to recognise when the opportunity is appearing in our lives The good news is that it is never too late. Taking the plunge is up to you. Easier said than done though. Of-course!

The Secret to taking the plunge

The real reason you do not make that step is how you are thinking about it. You are looking at all the “bad” things that could happen and it is those thoughts (and others) that will stop you making that move.

Coaching can help you master your thoughts and then take a deep breath and take the plunge. The research shows that there are 40 people who regret NOT taking the plunge for every one person who regretted taking the plunge.

Come and book a discovery call with me (The Professionals Coach) and lets bring those thoughts into the open so you can see them and loose them. Only then can you really be sure you will make a decision that you are unlikely to regret.